The Blurtso Chronicles (selections from episodes at http://blog.blurtso.com)
Off I go, said Blurtso, thinking he was going some place. And off he went, traipsing across the field on his way to where he was going, coming from where he had been. This will really be something, he thought, when I get to where I’m going. It will surely be worth the effort it will take to get there. There will be so many things where I’m going that aren’t like the things from where I’m coming. And on he went, one hoof following another following another following another. The sun was shining then the sun was setting then the moon was rising then the moon was setting, and on he went. I’ve got to keep going until I get there, he thought, when his stumpy little legs grew weary. And on he went, one hoof following another following another. Whew, he thought, I must be coming closer if I keep on going farther. And on he went, farther and farther and closer and closer and farther and farther and closer and closer. When he could go no further, he stopped and looked back at the trail of where he had been, and forward at the trail of where he was going. Blurtso, he said to himself, you silly goose, you’ll never get to where you’re going, nor back to where you’ve been, for you’re always at the beginning of where you’re going, and at the end of where you’ve been. “Blurtso decides to be lazy” “Blurtso stands in the sun” Whew! said Blurtso, this sun is hot! I wonder if it is dangerous? I wonder if it will make me collapse? “Blurtso tries his hoof with a hammer and chisel” Into stone people come and go, slaves of Michelangelo… Artist carved a brand new beauty, polished it and made it clean, but now the stones are rough and the artist’s dust and the statue’s going home, slipping back, slipping into stone. Into stone people come and go, slaves of Michelangelo… Mommy has a brand new baby, dress him up and keep him clean, but the years will reach him, and time will teach him, tear him down before he’s grown, leaving him slippin' into stone. So you think you’re doing fine, think that you have got it made, but the music’s slowing, you can hear it going, like a long forgotten poem, like the faces in the foam, and all the places you’ve ever known, they’re slipping into stone. You can’t run, you can’t hide, doesn’t matter if you’re nice or if you’re mean, all-night talking, there ain’t no stopping going home, ‘cause you and me, we’re slipping, slipping into stone. "Blurtso makes haste and waste" “Blurtso crosses the river” “Blurtso crosses the field” What a lovely day, thought Blurtso, skipping across the field. Excuse me, said a voice, but you’ll have to carry a load if you want to continue. As you wish, said Blurtso, bending to accept his load and walking across the field. I’m sorry, said the voice, but you’ll have to carry another. And so I shall, said Blurtso, crouching to accept his load and trudging across the field. And another, said the voice. If I must, said Blurtso, kneeling to accept his load and crawling across the field. And another, said the voice. Whew! thought Blurtso, when he could no longer see the day and the field and himself. I hope it is all still waiting there, beneath this load that has become myself. And down the road he went, clippety cloppeting, stamping stomping, tramping tromping, and kicking up dust as he went. Hi ho, sighed Blurtso, putting one hoof in front of the other and thinking of nothing at all. Mile after mile, day after day, year after year, kicking up dust and thinking of nothing at all. What’s that? thought Blurtso, noticing a cloud of dust in the distance. It looks like a cloud of dust, he said, kicking up his own dust behind him. Little by little, slowly but surely, hoof after hoof, the two clouds grew nearer. And nearer and nearer, and nearer and nearer, until the two clouds could move no nearer. Hmmmm, thought Blurtso, peering into the dust that was beginning to settle. What shape is that shape, peering at this shape, peering at me? Boxing glove nose, attentive eyes, dusty little hoofs, and tuft of hair between perked up ears. 
“Blurtso goes around and comes around”
I think I will be lazy today, thought Blurtso as he rose from a night of sound and restful sleep. Yes, that’s it. Today is a good day to be lazy. The sun was shining and the morning was cool and crisp and the grass was covered with dew. But how does one go about it, how does one go about being lazy? Let me see, he thought, what does a lazy person do? Most lazy people don’t move around a lot, so maybe if I don’t move around a lot I will be lazy. Blurtso stood in the grass with the dew on his hoofs and didn’t move around a lot, and then he didn’t move around a lot some more, but after a while he felt he wasn’t being lazy, he just felt he wasn’t moving around a lot. Lazy people also seem to breathe slowly, he thought, so he began to breathe slowly, then he breathed slowly some more. Hmmm, thought Blurtso, that still doesn’t feel like what I think being lazy is supposed to feel like. Lazy people also don’t do jobs that they’re supposed to do, so maybe I could invent a job I am supposed to do and then not do it. So Blurtso invented a job and then he didn’t do it but he still didn’t feel lazy. In fact, after several more attempts Blurtso began to feel that this morning was turning into one of the busiest mornings of his life. What could the solution be, he thought. There must be some trick right in front of my nose. Blurtso thought and thought and thought, and then he thought and thought some more, but he couldn’t find the answer. I give up, he said with a snort, I don’t care if I ever learn to be lazy, and then he lay down in the grass and drifted off to sleep...
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I wonder if it will make me collapse on my side or collapse in a heap? I wonder if I will know I have collapsed? I wonder if my nose will make puffs of dust in the sand? I wonder if the dust will make me choke? I wonder if I will know I have collapsed and am choking and making puffs of dust in the sand? Whew! said Blurtso, this sun is hot!
Into stone people come and go, slaves of Michelangelo…
Into stone people come and go, slaves of Michelangelo…
I’d better get going, said Blurtso, I’ve got so many things to do! First I’ve got to have breakfast, then I’ve got to smell the flowers, then I’ve got to see my friends, then I’ve got to have lunch, then I’ve got to do things, then I’ve got to enjoy what I’m doing, then I’ve got to have dinner, then I’ve got to go to bed, then I’ve got to get some sleep, then… and off he went, to have breakfast, to smell the flowers, to see his friends, to have lunch, to do things, to enjoy what he’s doing, to have dinner, to go to bed… until he finally realized as he dozed off to sleep, that he hadn’t done anything, he hadn’t really done a thing, all day long.
"Blurtso gets excited about Halloween"
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"Blurtso has a snack"
I’m hungry, said Blurtso when he woke from his nap. Maybe a snack would hit the spot, maybe a biscuit, or a watermelon, or a pumpkin pie. And off he went, scampering to the kitchen in search of a biscuit, or a watermelon, or a pumpkin pie. Hey, said Blurtso when he entered the kitchen and saw the glowing red coil of the electric range, someone left the stove on! That could be dangerous, he said to himself, people should really be more careful. Blurtso turned off the stove, shaking his head at how absent-minded people can be, then he stopped and stood in the middle of the kitchen, trying to remember what he had come in there for. Oh yes! he said, and began to search the cupboards for a biscuit, or a watermelon, or a pumpkin pie.
“Blurtso steals away in the night”
The road was dark and the trees were tall and the wind was still. Blurtso walked quickly, keeping to the edge of the road where the grass muffled the clippety clop of his hoofs. The moon in the trees threw shards of light on the ground and Blurtso could hear himself breathe...
I must try to breathe more quietly, he thought, I must move swiftly without haste. At the edge of the road the branch of a tree occasionally grazed his flank. The wind began to rise and the jagged shadows moved on the ground. The wind will mask the sound of my breath, thought Blurtso, moving swiftly without haste. The sound of the wind and the shadows of the trees are good friends, he thought, good friends indeed…
Well, said Blurtso when he reached the bank, I guess it is time to cross the river. The river was wide and the current was strong and Blurtso could not tell how deep it was. I suppose it will wash me to sea, he thought, testing the water with his hoof. I suppose I will float for a while and then sink like a stone. I suppose I will become part of the river before I reach the sea.
"Blurtso considers where he's standing"
I suppose I'm a temporary thing, thought Blurtso. The day will come when I'm gone and forgotten. As if I never existed. As before I existed. In the meanwhile I'm here, standing between two oblivions, pausing to enjoy a snack, and sending a mouthful of grass... to its next oblivion.
“Blurtso makes a friend”
Hello, said a voice from the dust, I’m Pablo. Pablo, echoed Blurtso, I’m Blurtso. Your hoofs are grey and mine are brown, said Pablo. Your body is blue and mine is grey, said Blurtso. Hmmm, said Pablo. Hmmm, said Blurtso. The road is quite dusty, said Pablo and Blurtso in unison. Would you like to join me? said Blurtso. I'd love to join you, said Pablo. And as they went the dust that had been two clouds became one, larger, than a single cloud alone.
"Blurts learns to fly"
Wow! What a view! Oooops...
